Tag: day my pad went mad

Two Contemporary Poems I Love

John Cooper Clarke – “Day My Pad Went Mad”
I’m ankle deep in human waste
The toilet has been clogged
Marrowbone jelly all over the place
I don’t even have a dog
The man upstairs he grabs my arm
Saying don’t I know your dad
All I could hear were the fire alarms
The day my pad went mad
All I could hear were the fire alarms
The day my pad went mad
The kitchen has been ransacked
Ski trails in the hall
A chicken has been dhansaked
And thrown against the wall
In walks this dumb waiter
With a fountain pen and pad
Saying how do you want this alligator
The day my pad went mad
Saying how do you want this alligator
The day my pad went mad
The hamster had been slaughtered
The parrot bound and gagged
The guard dog had been sorted out
And absolutely shagged
The goldfish drowned, the cat was found
Kicked around and stabbed
The radio did not make a sound
The day my pad went mad
The radio did not make a sound
The day my pad went mad
The pop-up toaster refused to pop
The chandelier was smashed
The starter motor would not stop
The tyres had been slashed
There was no way out of there
I was stuck with what I had
Out of order, beyond repair
The day my pad went mad
Out of order, beyond repair
The day my pad went mad
Yesterday I had the place rewired
And slung out all of my junk
A tumble dryer and a two bar fire
And a telephone now defunct
I peeped through the venetian blinds
And the rain fell down so sad
On the broken home I left behind
The day my pad went mad
On the broken home I left behind
The day my pad went mad
Roger McGough – The Sound Collector
The whistling of the kettle
The turning of the lock
The purring of the kitten
The ticking of the clock

The popping of the toaster
The crunching of the flakes
When you spread the marmalade
The scraping noise it makes

The hissing of the frying pan
The ticking of the grill
The bubbling of the bathtub
As it starts to fill

The drumming of the raindrops
On the windowpane
When you do the washing-up
The gurgle of the drain

The crying of the baby
The squeaking of the chair
The swishing of the curtain
The creaking of the stair

A stranger called this morning
He didn’t leave his name
Left us only silence
Life will never be the same.

Image discovered on Twitter.